Ok, I had my oh shit Michael is really gone moment. I was weeping sitting on my sofa and using tissue after tissue watching the memorial service. Like I've said earlier: 1) I blame being alone when I was watching it. I doubt I would have gotten so easily worked up if people were watching me. 2) Maya started it! Speeches about equality, strong and passionate humanitarian black men already are a weak point for me and her poetry made it impossible not to cry. 3) I stopped crying for a bit. Had got myself together after the poem, mostly. But fucking Sharpton opened up the flood gates. That cunt. It's a conspiracy! They say me crying like a bitch during Obama's acceptance speech and knew what buttons to push.
I think the big slap in the face moment was that the casket was there. It isnt real until you see it. You can joke it off until you see all the black and that casket.
Also WTF BET. Firstly, there was four channels back to back with it on and your coverage had some grainy ass picture. I came over to watch the music videos after the service since VH1 was sorta shitty with the programming after but then you had to show me why I can't fucking tolerate you for long. Church! say it fucking normal. Hearing that once a day is ok, I'll let it pass. Hearing it to make a point once is ok too. But you only get to say it when the entire sentence makes the tone. And once you say it all following sentences must say it normally. And Jesus fucking Christ if you hear it dont repeat it. Don't encourage it. Mother fucking hell people. I know your church is more active and "soulful" you make the point that your church is the best and we all except it but changing the word so you sound like a fucking moron makes me want to revoke all your Jesus cards. I'd rather have heard someone make a sentence just using the N word then hear that crap more then once.

Anyway, I've made my Michael post. I think I've reached the acceptance stage. Also I've had Don't Stop Til You Get Enough stuck in my head for hours now....apparently my brain can't get enough.

There's no gray *is slightly disappointed*

Hey Monkey,

I know you've been getting beat with the shit stick recently so I wanted to post stuff I thought would amuse you.

( Shiny Links and pics )
Remember Kiddo, When its all said and done sisters stick together and I love you. Even if from time to time I'm I get in a bad mood under it I'm doing the best I can for you........Feel better hun.

This posted funny *edits* I got Hibiscus "You are rough and rude at times but your friends and family love you no matter what, you are known to have anger problems but you quickly calm down. You have to watch your temper but I must warn you some people with think it's uber cute *wink*" in the event that other people are seeing the weirdness above that I'm seeing.

I'm free. No more school. Summer vacay is here at last. I can focus on the job and on my family and friends. I can feel the stress level melting down already.

By the way Desi this is what I was singing earlier:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KqXFhRxybE

You start a convo about underpants and the next thing I know my favorite bra is in a fucking Katy Perry video. ON A BLONDE BARBIE. So not cool and it's all your fault cause you know everytime I say I like something somebody steals. Look at this mess at 2:00:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWbLkXhGEmo

I need a new favorite. *pouts* First the shoes and the hair and now this.

Side note: Dude if you don't own these you should: https://www.asseenontv.com/prod-pages/strap_perfect_ood_ontv.html?gid= They have a non-brand name one in Harmons and I think Rite aid that's a figure eight shape. The figure eight shape is a better fit next to your shoulder blades in my opinion.

I'M NOT STUDYING I'M NOT STUDYING *dances like a doped up pagan*

Fuck this test....it doesn't even really matter if I pass or fail. I'll get up early and cram the study sheets tomorrow morning. The exam is may 26 1:45-3:45. I think I'm gonna go to the park after...If you wanna come Desi, call me.

Also Gramma called....she sounded happy and we got to talk for a bit since no body else was here to grab up the phone. I really hope this isn't a sign of coming drama with the rest of my family

As for the party, I'll explain why you can't come later today. She'll bounce back...then start making plans to hijack you from your mother at some point during the summer. I'm certain the two of them have the wheels in their heads turning about how to go about making you an official sister w/o any brothers.
The guest list on the back of the door is still as bare as ever....This is why I don't like my family. Grow a spine and say no if you don't wanna come....shit I'm probably more pissed then she is but I really hope they break something if they spoil her day for her.

I think that's enough drama for now
^____^

I saw Terminator and I have one thing to say.

The fucking "thing"' that happens in the end (I say thing in order not to spolier) did not need to happen. It didn't make him look more noble. It didn't make me go "Oh the was fitting" It didn't even have a reason for being there due to continuity...if anything it fucks with the continuity...because if I was sending someone back in fucking time to fix shit I'd mention that happening so the fact that no one ever mentions that means you never should have. Fucking hell, what kind of bullshit was that. I was with ya for the whole movie. I even withheld a "do you want me to trash your lights" comment because I thought everything was cool enough to command my respect but then you pulled that shit....and wtf up with the costume change at the end. He doesn't have time for that shit just because you think the coloring would look better doesn't mean you write in a costume change....ahhh. Where the hell are my issues of Total Film I need to find articles on this. Also....all the important people of the future are hot!


So that was more then one thing. Well W.E. I'm pissed off.

Note to self...find new Michael Sheen fandom.

Note to world....please god don't burn my eyes with your so called fashion. Knowing the color of the skin on your legs because your black tights are pulled to the limits is not cool.

Note to school...you suck. one more final and it's away from you for a whole summer.

Note to facebook....why do only the people I don't want talking to me finding me. I killed all the shitty ties of the past I wanna keep it that way.

Note to family....Stop putting your clothes in my closet and stealing my good shirts. It's not trading time it leave my freakin' red shirt the hell alone time.

Note to Art majors....maybe it was just the one class I saw but you are a bunch of weirdos. I appreciate the logical insanity and communication skills of English majors all the more. Wonder where musicians fall.

Note to Desi...its the Overlook Drive in. Its wicked awesome and far enough to change radio stations
http://nymag.com/listings/movietheater/overlook-drive-in/

Note to self number two...go to doctor...need rx and need to discuss paperwork and other dumb stuff

Note to bed...I know I know I'm coming. I'll try to go to sleep once the computer is off. I love you bed...even if your blanket is itchy as hell.

Note to the world...shaving sucks...hair growing back is tingly and itchy....why doesn't hair on your head growing bother you?

~Nony/Jesse

The subject line says it all. I have a facebook. Go find it. Next Twitter.

Two new computers up and running in one day. I could fucking cry. My laptop is the coolest fucking thing I own. I'm in love with it. I wanna have little HP babies with it. I haven't played with the new desktop but dad says it's way better then the last one. Dear sweet gods above is this an embarrassment of riches or what. I could fucking seize with joy. It's so great I'm using the word fuck way more then I should. But come on it's so fucking cool.

This post was only written so I could vent how fucking awesome this is without calling saiita up at 1:30 in the morning.

UP AND RUNNING BABY UP AND RUNNING!!!!! OWWWWWW!

Fuck you icons. Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you. WTF is going on with my icons. Now I gotta do it all over or I'll be nuts! Fuck!

Google is miraculous isn't it. catonennira found an old post I was involved with that had a plethora of Robert Sean Leonard and Hugh Laurie music and commented on one of my last posts asking for an update. I'm kinda stoked that I'm that easily findable. Here I thought I was in some shady dark corner of the internet. Well here it goes. I couldn't deny any request for the awesome RSL and Hugh Laurie. Hope you and your sister like these Cat and for anybody else that doesn't have them consider clicking the link.


( Click it and groove )

This post is a tribute to the greatest article of clothing in the history of mankind. THE SLEEVELESS T-SHIRT.
Also known as the ribbed t, the a-shirt, the muscle shirt, the undershirt, the tank top, the cutoff, or more controversially the wife beater (that's what I use. I grew up with it it's normal in NY)

This oft forgotten article of clothing has sent many a woman and man squeeling with joy due to sexiness overload. The T is the ultimate way of giving everyone a view of your awesome gun show. As we all know a well accented arm can turn the strongest of us into jelly.
So Here are my top five picks for King of The Tee. Please confirm or deny my picks. I'd love to see you debate me...with photographic evidence of course.

[This post was inspired by my new lj buddy thefangirlblog ]

( Let's get ready for the Gun show. BAM! )
Ok so know that the show is over. Please comment and tell me what other clothing miracles you enjoy and what list should be done next. Also as always I've managed to white wash my list without thinking about it. So let's randomly through a shot out to Ray J. That man whore makes some awful t.v. but it's funny awful. I'm thinking Empress of The Booty Short....Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Hey
saiita ,

I think I'm gonna get rid of my lj. I want a new one. Start from scratch. My mailbox is fucking murder. I kinda don't like my name anymore. And I just wanna do something new. What do you think?

Nony aka bored-as-hell-and-miserable-without-icons

Stolen from saiita 

Rules of the game:
- Choose a singer/band/group
- Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group
- Posting Actual Songs Not Necessary But Encouraged


David Bowie

1. Are you male or female?
Queen Bitch
2. Describe yourself.
I'm Deranged
3. What do people feel when they're around you?
Modern Love
4. How would you describe your previous relationship?
Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps)
5. Describe your current relationship.
Hallucination
6. Where would you want to be now?
A New Career In A New Town
7. How do you feel about love?
The Hearts Filthy Lesson
8. What's your life like?
Unwashed And Somewhat Slightly Dazed
9. What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
I Can't Explain
10. Say something wise.
We Are Hungry Men

Ok, so I opened up his letssingit.com page and I found a whole bunch of songs I'd never seen before. I only know 1, 3, and 5. But the titles fit so well and I laughed so hard I had to use them even though I don't know the content of the songs. I guess I have a long way to go before I'm a complete fan of Bowie but I sure as hell am getting there. ^_____^

Side notes:
Dan Radcliffe is my new/old obsession. I say this because I've been a crazed Potter fan forever, but only recently have I gotten to liking him. I blame my re-entry to the Potter fandom after a long break from it. And a slight addiction to Perezhilton.com.

I have a really new obsession with pomegranate. In my bath products, in my chapstick (Burt's Bee's uses pom in their stuff and it's fabulous), eating it, drinking it, reading about it (Hades and Persephone anybody ^___^) I love the names for it. Chinese Apple. Death Apple. Pomegranates rock!

I'm officially back into House M.D.. I'm so pissed I missed last weeks episode. I read the recap and I must see it. They added a new character. Lucas....aka hottyMchotty! I love his character. He's interesting, funny, and smart. I kinda hope he becomes a recurring character. I'm a bit ashamed to admit it but I actually blasphemed and thought about what Lucas/House would be like. I know, I know...Wilson has been gone for like three seconds and I'm all over Lucas like some sort of Wilson patch. But think about it Louse has way more potential for puns then Houson does. You know I think I'm just randy over the thought of two sexy scruffy guys with wicked awesome hair and eyes getting it on. I'm bad.

Ok, so nobody really needed to know any of that but w.e.
Lots of Love to Nobody and Everybody and especially saiita 
P.S. That icon has nothing to do with the post but was begging for attention before I decide what to change the Christian Bale theme to.
~Nony

^______________^
NON EMO POST!!!
I GOT A TICKET TO PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
I'VE SEEN THE YESTON -KOPITS VERSION AND NOW IT IS FINALLY TIME FOR THE MASTER, HIS AWESOMENESS
ANDREW LLYOD WEBBER. WHOOOOOH!!!(><)  <----thats a crappy infinity symbol...just imagine it...and imagine the !'s go on forever.............................
NO ONE WILL SQUASH MY HAPPY

This post is merely to balance the emo levels of this journal. Will post something more constructive later.

New Icons
Christian Bale...obviously the new obsession.
Note to the Best Friend. I'm beginning to hate my green background.
Note to the Self. I hate work. I hate writers block. I hate my life. I hate myself.
Note to the World. Never watch Equilibrium when you are having dark depressing thoughts. It just leads you to think that maybe the not feeling thing was an interesting idea. It also makes you look up mood disorders far to often.
Note to no one. My mother has killed the limited happiness I had in one sentence...that has to be a record.
Note to the Body. I hate you as well. You have no right being sick, tired and fucked up...that's obviously the minds job.
Note to the Mind. Do something useful please. Create something that can be written down. Get along with the Will and the Hand. I don't care if it's your usual fantasies to escape in, horrifying images of depression and death or poetic yet shocking ponderings. The Self would like to have a lasting feeling.

Her face contorts into an ungodly show of terror
Her mouth wide open baring teeth and spewing soul
No sound is emitted
No sound can
The silence is her punishment
The inability to scream drives her to madness
She dreams of emotion
She dreams of hands and a voice and a soul
She dreams of a true break in the monotony
Not the fleeting laughs, the brief half smiles
She longs for tears
For a tightening in her chest
Be it joy or a crack to prove something is there
For proof her soul hasn't withered away
There is no break for water as she plays her role
She cannot swim and the water is daunting
She collapses
She cannot wallow in despair
Cannot ache
Cannot hold onto anything
Not even her drifting thoughts
The wasteland her mind has conjured up mirrors her so well
Her lifeless body spread over the floor
She beats her fists against the dirt in a futile attempt to stir feeling
Finally her hand falls knowing its effort is worthless
The fingers unfurl and the palm begs for something to touch
Something to grasp
Something that will fill the void.
A bird alights in her palm
Beauty
Light
Hope
She cannot feel it
She folds her fingers around it's fragile body
She grasps tighter
It sings
It knows emotion she has long lost
It knows emotion she has never had
She strokes it's feathers and small pangs touch her heart
The same as always
Small brief knocks at an empty heart
She grasps tighter
Tighter
She can feel the struggle
Tighter
Can feel it's emotion heighten
The knocks slam harder
But they are still unanswered
Tighter
Slamming Harder
Harder
Harder
The door rattles on it hinges.
The bird is so small
Her emotion so very small
She must find something more
This gift must not go wasted
Her fists tighten
Her knuckles whiten
Her eyes can she the pounding intensity in her hands
But her body
Her mind
Her soul
Cannot register
Cannot reciprocate
Can mirror but cannot master
Her palms drip with the effort
Her palms drip with what could have been guilt
If she could only feel
Tighter
Silence
Stillness
Nothingness
Fruitless Attempts
She arises empty handed